Stuck

can't get you off my mind

can't get you off my mind

I never meant for you to stay…But, you have.

I never thought you to be what I wanted…I only planned for you to be (just) what I needed for a short time. You were meant to be a band-aid, a temporary vice, a handkerchief ..a meaningless yet special secret.

You were meant to stay invisible… far away from my view…but now (YOU) are all I see.

I never really meant for you to stay…But, you  have.

Stuck.

You’re stuck in my thoughts. Stuck between the pages of my work. Stuck in my morning, and cemented in my night. Trapped in my sheets and pillowcases. On top of me when I shower..hovering when I apply my lipstick.

You have attached yourself to my temples, lying along my forehead. Twirled around my bang. Curled within my brow. You crowd my space, my thoughts my words, my breath…

You’re here..trapped between my fingers, encased in my fingernails.

You’re right here..smeared on my thighs, shined on my shoulders, on the inside of my elbows.  You’re pasted on my wrists…Ruby red on my hip. Your blue on my toe and white at my lips. Cool and moist on my belly, lined at my breast and pierced to my nipple.

You’re here..Right here at my ear lobes. Dangled around my neck. Dripped along my sides..You’re here..Right here..

Nestled between my legs and rested on my back.

You’re here..Right here.. tugging my hair and holding my hand, fastened and lodged deep into my chest

You’re all over me..Coloring me, Marking me, Naming me, and Calling me..”YOURS”.

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The Bell Tolls

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At the nape of your neck.. my pale fingernails linger in thin curls..

softly pressing you into my cheek..

your ear to mine..

around my shoulders you rest..

tender grazing on soft sheets..we wrap each other..

we hold and console

carefully concealing one another..

tightly safeguarding…

At times, I am underneath you.. hiding and retreating, guarded, kept warm and protected

At times, I become your wings..stretching myself wide on top of you..allowing you to float..to relax..to drift

We take turns lifting each other

We take turns breathing for the other

Tender kisses blend with sour tears

pained and silent

………..we make love

While the walls are crashing to the ground

While bombs are blasting and shots are firing

amidst screams..

………..we make love

While fires are burning and corpse lie uncovered in the streets

………..we make love

with shell casings at the foot of the bed and war ravaged photographs on the pillow

………..we make love

with a black-hooded victim huddling in the corner; dawning torn feet and lacerated hands

with orphan children crying underneath the bed

while the floor boards are rattling and the earth is shaking

while the Regime is at the door and the sirens are wailing…

………..we make love

with hundreds of gas-masked covered faces..peering through the windows

………..we make love..

Desperately revolting against the hour

Fighting minutes by seconds to reclaim lost innocence

The ticks tock louder..and then… The Bell tolls…

(Times up)..with angst we face each other

I leap from the bed onto bloody execution stones..

grab the pistol, posters, banners, and bullhorn..

He grabs the vest, machetes, rifle, and phones..

….a blown kiss..and out separate windows we fly.

 

 

(“The Revolution WILL NOT be Televised”..just whispered through the hearts of the TRUE REVOLUTIONARIES.”

 

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I died today

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I died today… my skin darkened, and color changed. Air rushed from my body. I became silent. Softly I closed my eyes, felt my limbs freeze…stiff and still, I left.

I drowned. The water consumed me, covered my head, filled my nose, and flooded my mouth.
My ears popped. My lungs grew heavy..my chest puffed and hardened. It hurt.
I felt unspeakable pain.
Engulfed..I died.

All my sins played before me. All my good turned to tears.

I died a horrible death.
blood dripped from my nose, my teeth gnashed..I snarled at my killer. My pupils turned ruby. My cheeks ashed and lips withered. With crimson skin under my fingernails..I scratched the pavement. I failed to crawl to safety. I screamed. I screamed.
Ripped.. I died

Memories of abuse, pain, and trauma bruised my face. Pleas muttered from my lips. Weak and frail.
I gasped to hold tight the last bit of air. My throat constricted, my heart stopped, and my bladder failed. I quit. I gave up.
Defeated..I died.

……only to be born again..new…clean..fresh..healed..reincarnated and given another chance.

Another try.

Another try at living.

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