Don’t Speak

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The reverberating orchestra of my chest..pulses silently. bubbling, boiling, raging, amplifying…wildly throughout me I can’t speak I can’t speak Pain and anger so loud that it shatters. I’m so enraged with the world. Enraged with injustice, racism, inequality… Enraged with the hatred of nations against nations, of races of …

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Ra Ma Da Sa, “I Am Thou”

Image Credit: Stephanie Smith

Last night, I went to bed with deep sadness. I had the feeling of losing yet I hadn’t lost anything nor anyone. Tears swept my sheets until I finally drifted off to sleep. This morning, I arose happy and with no memory of the night before.  I was delighted to …

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The Mountaintop

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Life doesn’t have to be grimy. Life doesn’t have to be tumultuous and hard. Yes, it is filled with sometimes psychotic adventures and rough terrains. Sometimes there are rocky roads and troublesome mountains to climb. But, who said (you) had to ever come down from the Mountain? Who told (YOU) …

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~Mantra’s Story~ Making My Way Clear

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    I sit.. eyes still sleepy..lashes fluttering, but..Awake Just awakening from about a 15 year gray haze… Blurry shadowy figures, dim lights and distant screams Cursed whispers lie in the corners o f my eyes Sore hands wiped down my face Blistered feet resting on hardwood floor achy bottom …

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Image Credit: We Hear It.

Deep desperation and longing.. broken glasses and shattered windows.. My heart aches.. but I can’t fix it.. I don’t know how.. ..a pain unlike anything I have ever felt. What heals this? What makes this better? I know time.. but I ain’t got time.. now. What heals this NOW? Can …

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When it hurts so bad

I can ‘t help but relate this to the words in a song by Lauryn Hill “When it hurts so bad, why does it feel so good.” This hurts. It really hurts. It’s like a sunken lost piece of my rib, that has wandered through my body searching for it’s “fit”. It feels sore. Achy. It feels ill. It feels misplaced, pointy, a constant pinching in my side.

I cough; but it won’t come up. I sneeze; but it won’t come out.

I cry but it won’t stop hurting. I scream but it doesn’t scare. I yell but it won’t flee.

I try to run it out, but my legs won’t last it.

“This is some powerful sh..” The only thing left to do, is to, let “it” be “it”. Pain is Pain. It hurts because it’s supposed too. Lack is Lack, Loss is Loss and Winning is knowing when YOU WIN;

and this time “I WON”.

He was a miserable bastard and I didn’t want him anyway.. So, I really did win. I just didn’t know it at the time.

In the mist of the tears, the screaming, the shouting, the hurt and pain; I couldn’t see that “I WON”.


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