Clarity

clarity

Just a moment in time..a lapse of confusion. A break from clarity. Fogged by the daily overwhelming routine of life.

Now, renewed, regenerated and revived.  Open..wide,  and stretched. Unzipped and naked.

A smile. A smile..pure and without pretense.

A kiss. A kiss..never to be washed from my cheek.

A hand.  A hand..comforting and warm.

Wholesome inspiration and uplifting prayer.

Tender.

 

We’ve all been blessed with Free Will and the Gift to Choose. However, sometimes we become fogged and confused about what choice to make.  We may be attracted by more than one choice or perplexed because there seems to be nothing to choose. We may even be blinded by others influences and their perceptions of what direction (WE) should take. At these times, we should ask Spirit for Clarity. We should pray that confusion be lifted and that we be released from the past..that our minds be renewed and that our paths be shown before us and brightly lit.

Affirmation: I choose LIGHT! My path is clear and before me. I skip in the glory of me being able to choose my destiny.

 

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Out My Mind- Porch Lady Talk and a Revolver

Secret Bible--revolver by Shinobi aka seba

Secret Bible–revolver by Shinobi aka seba

 

Let it go. Let it go..Let me go.

Something got a hold.  Gripped tight. Tethered. Tied and wrapped.

Wound and bound.Thick wire looped around a large spindle.

Spun and Spiraled… Got me Circled

Mashed and grounded into powder and sprinkled on others chosen paths..rubbed out fresh and flat. Then blown apart.

Dazed and dizzy..LOST.   Fragmented and disconnected. Jumbled

Heavy Headed.

Spent and bought.

Sold and Resold to the cheapest bidder. Shiny hat and shiny shoes. Cheap metal and faded gold.

Exchanged and bartered. A bargain.  Hustled OUT MY MIND..

 

(Pointing in their direction)……

Dem Porch Ladies say, she came home from church..and must’ve caught the Spirit.

Dey’ say… when she walked in her house..they heard hollering and shouting.  A choir of Loud Revolution. Dey’ say the walls was singing sumpin’ fierce!

Then dey’ say…7 horsemen came a running and she came a flying.

Flapping and flat footed..BARE! Right out her house!  She was leaping and hopping off the ground.

Dey’ say, she even levitated! Say she lifted so high, that Ol’ Man Perry tried to rope her down..but he couldn’t.       (I ain’t lying..dat’s what dey say)

Dem’ porch ladies say …Dat girl was so hot and feverish that she was turned beet burnt red. And..dey say, she was dripping wet like somebody had dipped her in the river. Water and sweat was just pouring right off of her.

The Porch Ladies say, she caught the Holy Ghost!

She was speaking in tongues and scripture-fying. Quoting em’ like she wrote the book.

Leviticus 20:10    Leviticus 20:25     Luke 11:40

Mat 23:17    “Is it the Gold or the Temple that makes it?” she shouted. “Who am I?  I’m the Temple..ain’t I?”

Jeremiah 48:10  “I do the Lords Work!!! I do the Lords Work!”

Exodus 35:2..“God said it!!! God said it!!!” 

(Proclaiming)  “Deeze ain’t my words..Deeze Gods!”

Dey say, she started singing about how she been changed.. Dat finally, she been saved. She say she was healed by the blood.

Then dey’ say..she started shouting!  She was shaking and moving real fast. At one time, she even threw down her bible and started church dancing on it.

She threw up, not long after that!  Yep.  That’s what Ms. Mattie say.  (Nodding) She got sick sumptin’ real bad.

Say she got silent all a sudden.. then everything turned dark like a storm was coming. She vomited all over the porch steps then fell slain in the spirit. Down still..she lay.

But, The Horseman didn’t go up there (pointing to the porch) until they was sure she wasn’t getting up.

Once they got up there, they rolled her over..and dat’s when they saw the revolver.

Dat man over der’ (pointing) him in dat gray shirt…He say the walls is covered in blood. I seen em’ bringing bags out all day.

Mama say..the Coroner told her dat’ he ain’t neva seen nothing like dis’ in his 25 years of working and picking up bodies!

Bout time the Pastor and all dem’ church folk showed up..she was already gone. But dey’ say, dey’ keeping vigil for the rest of the week.

So, there they are (pointing across the street). Dey’ been out there… slow-singing and bringing flowers all day.

….”Umph.Umph. Umph.”  (Heads shake)

 

 

 

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The Power of Non-Reaction

Image Credit: Mooji
Image Credit: Mooji

Image Credit: Mooji

To React or Not?

The question enters me frequently.  (I), like so many other human beings; bounce between my spiritual self (the all knowing, righteous, peace seeking, and zen loving part of me) and the physical self (skin, emotion, vengeful, lustful, spontaneous, thoughtless, and carefree part of me).

I wrestle with myself on what to do when confrontational situations come up. Sometimes, I think of  how I will fend off moral uncomfortable incidents? Also, if I am attacked, do I fight back?  If I am verbally disrespected; do I myself become just as belligerent? Do I debate and challenge all that want a battle or a visible response?

From the Bill Collector to the Evil-Eye Onlooker…

From the “Ex” to the Preacher…From the Parent to the Employer…

It seems so easy to react; to feel and to be affected and sometimes infected by outside powers be they negative or positive. But why?

Could it not be just as simple to not react?  To not move, to not be shaken? We all hear of steadfastness and standing still in the face of adversity..but how often do we adhere to it or even advise it?

The “Conscious” or the Spiritually Awake, should be aware that a person who is angered or engulfed in turbulent emotions comes from a place of unconsciousness and therefore has no knowledge of indifference in his actions. Furthermore, he has no other point of reference and may be unaware of choice.

But, for the chosen few who have been blessed with experience, knowledge and wisdom and if they understand that all good things come from making the “right” choice; the decision should be easy.

All who desire peace and positive outcome in any situation know that maintaining an Inner Stillness produces the best fruit.  When there is quiet there is resolution.  We all think clearer when we are at peace.  When we wait before reacting means that we have thought. When we wait, it means that we have taken time to think about what would be the best force of action; if there is a need for any.

When we are still we are taught how to be patient and allow the universe to work for us. We open a path for our lives that only permits good things to enter.

I consider the power of Non-reaction my “Conscious Prayer”.  I am totally aware of the gift that I am asking for. I know that I will receive a blessing because I am giving back.  When I don’t react to negativity, I am shooing it out of my life. When I am calm at stressful times I am rallying for peace. I am promoting love and light and spreading joy in a non-threatening way.  It’s actually quiet empowering.

Can you imagine yourself smiling all the harshness, unflattering, and opposing things out of your life?  (I can).

 

 

 

The Art of Non-reaction

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Oh, how blessed I am!

too_blessed_to_be_stressed_tshirt-p235797175269881653u7w1_400

I wake up every morning giving thanks to the Creator.  Sometimes, on my knees.  Sometimes, with a simple raise of the hand. But, most times..I’m communing when I’m getting ready for the day.

Nepali sadhu performing a blessing.
Image via Wikipedia

I’m praying as I’m washing dishes, sweeping the floor, preparing meals, taking care of pets, etc.  It’s a constant form of praise.  A constant connection.  No separation or distance between me and spirit.

As I think on the bills, the duties of the day, the needs and the wants, I’m asking to be blessed, guided, and confirmed.

I have no worries because I know that my needs are met.  I know that God blesses me with creativity and an understanding to use what I have.  If I’m out of bread..I make homemade biscuits.  If I can’t find a specific pair of shoes, another pair that I’ve forgotten will turn up.

If I’m out of money, and have just a couple of cent in my pocket, and I wont have any until pay-day.  I may wipe my brow..”Alright, I’m out of milk, bread, butter; ..I’ll make do tonight, but God I’m gonna need money tomorrow.”  and of no surprise to me, I will have money.

It may come from some unexpected source..I check in the mail, a friend repays a loan, or $30. found in a coat pocket.

Even simpler, the other day, I was tired, feeling worn down, lonely and unacknowledged. I finished work, the house work, and had dinner on the stove.  But, I forgot to water the flowers.  I moaned and frowned. Then sluggishly went out the door.  Going around the bush, and turning on the valve, I yanked to pull the water hose, and couldn’t. It was stuck.  It’s 90 degrees, I’m hot, tired, and something is steadily flying in my face.  It seemed like every time I moved it was there.  Thinking it was a mosquito, I continuously fanned away from me. All, the while still tugging at the hose.

I let out a sigh of frustration, cause I knew that the hose had to be caught on a root or branch of the bush, which meant that I had a choice..  Keep pulling until I free it or get on my hands and knees and see what the problem is.  Not in the mood to wrestle with the “Green beast”, I decided to do the latter.    I dropped the nozzle and headed back.  Still, fanning whatever was hovering around me..The sun glaring in my face, and sweat dripping from my forehead…I let out another sigh.

On my knees, I looked for the problem.  I could see that the hose was caught between two branches, but there also appeared to be something to the left of it.  Upon further inspection, I could see that it was a baby rabbit. “Wow..humph”.   I rose to my knees, and right in front of me, was a butterfly.  Just hovering, as if to say..”I was trying to tell you”.  I smiled and delicately put the hose back, and decided to fill the watering can.

If I had kept tugging the hose, and forced it loose.  I may have injured or even killed the rabbit.  If the butterfly wasn’t fluttering in my face, it wouldn’t have distracted me, and I would have been fixed on the job at hand (which was watering the flowers) and so forth.

The thought of interconnection over-joyed me.  I was indeed being acknowledged.  I was being included in everything that was around  me.  The butterfly had so much confidence in “ME” and in herself that she knew that she could stop me from making a mistake.  Even in my “funk” I was communing..I just hadn’t realized it. And, at this time, I was being included full center in the blessing of creation, as well as, being  a blessing for something else.

We are always blessed.  We are always granted of wishes and wants. The biggest miracle is that we possess our own personal genies, but these “Personal Genies” know what’s better for us, than we do. SO, what we may think we need and want, they don’t. Which is fine, because these “Personal Genies” know best.

There is always a testimony..but some of us don’t recognize a blessing.

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These Fingers

Venice Hands
Venice Hands

Image Credit: Sajan Raj Kurup

I’ve noticed that I haven’t been wearing any rings lately; on my fingers.

No polish, or color; except for my own brown glossy shade.

I’m attracted to the plainness, the shortness of fingernail, the roundness of knuckle, and the delicate bends.

The softness of palm with blushing lines throughout

The thin of finger and tiny mimic of bone (so enticing)

Stretching my hands in front of me, and spreading them wide, I quiver..a subtle quake

I’ve seen these hands do so much….
They bake superior pies
They raise high fists in crowds
They have kept safe, the smallest of creatures
They swiftly dance on keyboard riffs

These fingers play invisible piano on busy trains
They scrub pots and pans
They paint un-sketched masterpieces
They soothe my scalp,
They baby my ear,
They nestle my thigh and rub my belly

They work diligently to feed me
They dress and undress me
bathe and comfort me

These fingers on these two hands..do so much.

They are weary and stretched.
Cracked lines and swollen knuckles..

They appear as if they’ve done enough..done too much…

Yet, they still lift me out of bed every morning.  They wipe my eyes and massage my temples. They prepare me in prayer pose and hold me in high plank.

They cheer and clap for me during the day, and relax my neck in the evening.

These fingers.. on these two hands.. hold my head and pray me to sleep; every night.

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Plucking Daisies

plucking daisies

He loves me, He loves me not… Yep.

Biting my lip at the thought of happenstance. The thought of convenience, the thought of “In the Moment”, the thought of loneliness or wanting. Maybe, a lustful thought that lasted longer than expected. Maybe, the thought that it would only last a night, a week, a month and then “IT” would be over. But, I left no easy way out. Darn. Was I too nice? Too predictable, too easy, too sweet, too enticing, maybe too unpredictable, too complicated, too threatening, too ugly?
Did I push, Did I pull? Was I pitied? Did I frighten? Did I threaten? Was I harsh? Were my hands too cold? My back too hot?

Maybe, I was a thought of age and time, or a clocks hand (Tick Toc, Tick Toc) Maybe the motor oil that you never bought. Maybe, the exercise plan that you never started. Was I the hidden bill behind the dresser? The missing shoe? The satin sheets that “YOU” never liked?

Last Petal….Last Daisy…It’s the Last PETAL, on the LAST F’N DAISY!..

nothing.

Between my fingers it fell, dangled and whirled in the wind, silently, slowly, it drifted to the ground…No more questions…It’s over.

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Karma

love hate

Rumble?! Just what is that? It’s my jargon’s, my mess, my silly thoughts, my humanness (if that’s a word). And today-it’s my face reality, grow up, move on, deal with it, pep talk (for me).

It’s seems almost insane that I wouldn’t go “insane” after this last break up. I don’t want to blast, but why should I not? Are not these MY rumbles?!

Everything in my being, tells me that what happened was meant to happen. Everything in my being soothes me and tells me that “everything” is going to be alright. I will move on. I will love again. I will trust and want someone again. There is something that has been whispering in my ear..”Karma..honey. Karma.. will deal with “it” .

But, then there is this FORCE! This force inside of me that say’s “F” Karma unless it’s “your” name. Something inside of me is so enraged and pissed. There is something like a drifting thread; spinning within my veins, that SCREAMS “F” Karma. “He” wasn’t thinking about Karma when he did what he did. “She” wasn’t thinking about Karma when she-did what she did. So. I am left to ponder. AM I KARMA? Can I be KARMA? Am I the one that can “Get” them back? Should I turn the tables? Should I seek revenge? Is it possible that I could hurt him, the way that he has hurt me? Is it possible that evil could linger in my body just as it churns in him?

AM I THE MIGHTY, POWERFUL WIND CALLED KARMA?

As I write this, and my fingers anxiously pace back and forth. I realize that NO, I could not hurt him the way he has hurt me. NO. I could not do evil because I couldn’t recognize it within him, because I had none in me. Even though my heart races and my pulse burns, at the thought of the pain he has caused me, even though, I have felt such intense anger that I thought I was losing my mind and would be subjected to medication if my thoughts were ever made public, I have felt anger like I never knew that “I” could be possible of. Even through all of it, I know that The evil that “HE” carries is distinctively his. He owns it and it’s most likely best that I stay as far away from “It” as possible so that it won’t.. bleed on me.

Yes! I believe in KARMA and right now she is telling me to “Run, Run, as fast as you can; into the LIGHT”.

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My Purple Hue

Image Credit: The Color Purple

Image Credit: The Color Purple

 

Luscious, fruitful, duel animation, duality in time, sleek design, lotus wings

blossoming in moonlight, blue-berry rasp, cotton candy dazzle, tender clasp, strong grasp,

hypnotizing linger, beloved bellow, delicate butterfly, treasured piece, My PURPLE HUE. Lasting

love, continuous flow, sacred heaven, wide eyed temple, spiritual hymn, glistening drip, magic

touch, whistling blow, pebbled kiss, violet dance, harmony bling, transcendental Shiva,

transatlantic connect,

My PURPLE HUE

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Blow on Me

blessing

Just a blow behind my left ear. Just a silent whisper is all I need. My belly rises and falls and twists of us. Long before we became “US”.

I remember being four, and seeing you at the bottom stairwell, a chill never forgotten.

At night you would pace and pant outside of my window. I listened and heard. Ignored and hid.

As a child, I read you in the comic books, I fingered your thigh and played hand clap games with you. In Jet Magazine, I kissed your toe. Your multifaceted face paved my school books.

At church, I helped finish your sermons. And, “I” wrote the music to all the hymns.

To hold me, and to graze my shoulder is all I would ask, but you never did.

I jogged pass you the other day, and took your water; it tasted sweet (as always).

I noticed the new flowers that you planted in the backyard, I wrote a note to you on how beautiful they were, “I placed it on top of the T.V.” I know you saw it.

A new mole appeared, right above my right breast, I looked for you, to question your face, Solemn you appeared, with no response.

“Do you see this?” I whispered.. You shrugged, and walked away.

I slept an hour too late all week long, you never woke me, you just sat heavy at the foot of my bed. When, I finally arose you left and stood in the living room front corner (As Always). Just standing, and watching, everyday.

You linger and hover around me, You ride in the backseat and wait in the kitchen.

Just… Just… Touch me. I think I can take it.

You stand over me as I bathe. Just… Just..Touch me. I can take it.

You followed me to the hospital today; riding my heels. I suddenly stopped, you stopped too. I stretched my hand to you.. “I really need you today.” I whispered. “Just hold my hand, please. Please!..” I pleaded. You never responded. You just waited and watched the creases in my face. The quiver of my lip brought you no sympathy.

I turned away from you and straightened my back and tried to walk away from you as fast as I could. Of course, I knew that you would never grow tired of surrounding me. Still, I just wanted to get away from you. My hurt didn’t bother you, my discontent and pain (you cared not).

You watch me now. Sitting on my desk, dangling and kicking your feet. I reach for your ankle, you dodge me and just keep on paddling. Almost whimsical. You watch me breathe, and sit and breathe again. Not an utterance, not a “humph” or even a bump.

I’ll just ignore you.. I’ll act as if your not here. I can’t help but to look your way, because I know that your staring at me, watching and waiting.

“Humph” I say. What’s the point. I guess this is just “US”.

I look at you, (longing) “Will you at least just blow on me?”

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Sweet Symphony

key of love 2000

It is an anthology of soul-loving Black Folk

Giving and receiving of spirit

Bestowing Gods blessings

Breathing in love

Tasting Sweetness

Bottom to top loving

Shiny and Nappy

Smooth and Course

Loving our way

Redeeming and revolting

Sista’s speaking in tongues and Brotha’s seeing visions

Black Folk soul loving

Empowering and inspiring

OO’S and AH’S

Top to Bottom Loving

Slow and Speedy

Sensitive

Gentle

Firm

Big thighs little thighs

Small Breast Full Figured

Hairy Chest

Baby Soft Backs

“The BUTT Bodacious”

Grooving, B-Bopping, Singing, and Church humming

Sweet Symphony

Halleluiah, Thank Ya, Asante Sana and OH God

Oh Yes, Yebo

Asae

Gods Spell to the fullest

Loving deeper than deep

Way past skin and bones

Emancipating

Proclaiming

Remembering

Praising

Thanking

Blessing

Healing

Strengthening

Meditating

A Sweet Symphony of

Angels Singing

Deities Whispering

Ancestors praying

God Clapping

Birds Humming

Trees Whistling

Water Dripping

Earth Shaking

The Universe honoring Black-folk loving

A sweet symphony

Coming together in the way that only we know how

Coming together with the purpose of revolution

Coming together for the purpose of nation building

Coming together because our Ancestors told us to

Coming together because some other folk think that we can’t

Coming together because that’s what creator blessed us to do.

Come on and do it, do it, do it, Do it to you’re satisfied

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Glory

Image Credit: Unknown. The Fray lyrics

Never Stop Loving Me

Image Credit: Tyler Shields

GLORY

Like stepping stones all along the paths to my awakenings

You step lightly with soft toes

Gentle taps
Tender pats

Stepping around me

Sending chills at my lower back

Tickling my belly

Blowing at me

Whispering

Pacing in circles that surround me

Penetrating without penetration

Stimulating me without any physical stimulation
Making me sweat when it ain’t hot

All around me

All through me

This way and that way

Touching here and pressing there

Feeling me up with words Making me dance when it ain’t no music

Glory

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