~Mantra’s Story~ Making My Way Clear

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I Survived (Domestic Abuse!) Her-Story Challenged!

 

 

I sit.. eyes still sleepy..lashes fluttering, but..Awake

Just awakening from about a 15 year gray haze…
Blurry shadowy figures, dim lights and distant screams
Cursed whispers lie in the corners o f my eyes
Sore hands wiped down my face
Blistered feet resting on hardwood floor
achy bottom sitting on the edge of the bed

I call upon the unconscious strength of yesteryear..(the ones that sat where I sit),
with knees buckling and shaking thighs
with tender back I stand.

I wiggle and sway,
…the heels of my feet whine and my toes protest…But, I stand

Stumbling through the darkness,
Knocking over cords and shoes
Like the first steps of a baby; clumsily falling toward the window

and I REACH

Reaching for the long thin string and…I PULL..
Raising the shades and bringing sight

AWAKE
Eyes wide open..

I let in the light.
The light that hid and let the flowers die
the light that only flickered in my dreams
the light that hid deep in the darkness..

When I let in the light…

I saw humming birds and butterflies
I saw waterfalls and daisies, lit oceans,
happy faces, and candy eyed children..

but best of all with 20/20 vision I saw myself, glistening , glowing, shining, and smiling.

I MADE IT!
I MADE IT!

I made it over mountains and hills

I made it over bruises and breaks
I made it over back-hand slaps and kicks..
over bloody sheets and name calling
over dark fallen locks of hair and scraped scalp..

over hidden secrets and hushed cries…

I MADE IT!

I made it through the “You can’t do this!, You won’t do that! and If you do I’ll kill you!”
I made it through “You ain’t nothing but a woman, You ain’t nothing but a girl, a bitch, a slut and a whore!”

I made it though the suicidal thoughts, the never’s and the have-nots and “God created you for one thing only, to please men..Look at ya, you ain’t good for nothing else. Who in the hell do you think you are? You’re a woman..that’s all.”

But..when the sunlight hit my eyes, for the first time I saw all the abuse,
I felt all the abandonment
I felt all the shame
I felt all the ugliness, the hopelessness and the fear, the sadness and sickness

I saw the reality of my “Lifetime” plays, my Humorous Skits, my War Movies..
I saw it all

When I let the sunshine in, I saw the ability in all of my aspirations
I saw the finish product in the resting in the palm of my hand
I saw completion

I saw ME! A Mother, A Woman, A True Advocate for myself, A Revolutionist for Change
I saw a Determined Woman who NEVER gave up.

When I let the sunshine in, I saw myself in all its splendor; blessed with all of God’s Glory..
Beautifully hued and perfect. Strong and Courageous!

No More..No More..No More!

No more Hurt, No more Pain
No more Abuse
No more Battered Woman
No more Fear
No more Running from myself

No more and never again will I be a “victim”
No more and never again will someone else take what’s mine!
No more and never again will I cry in the face of laughter
No more and never again will anyone hit me, touch me, hurt me, scare me, and get away with it

No more sleeping
No more suffering
No more dis-ease
No more make-up and mask

(hush)…It’s all over now. (hush) It’s all over now..
It’s all over now

The hiding..(it’s all over)
The closed mouth and tight lip..
The clogged ears and numbness..
The silence and the unnatural responses..(it’s all over, now)

Degradation, Spiritual rape, fake smiles, depression, feelings of inferiority, muffled screams..
(It’s all over)

No more doubts and delusions
No more false hopes and lies

All the tragedy..it’s gone.

I have learned and grown. I have experienced all of what I must. I am in control..

Head held High..Bright and illuminated..glowing and gleaming.
With fist clutched and firm stance..Upright and fearless..I SHOUT..NO MORE! NO MORE!
Facing my enemy and all evils..NO MORE! NO MORE! and NEVER AGAIN!

It’s ALL OVER.

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We Rise In Greatness (Tribute to Mothers)

Harvard Health Rights for Women
Harvard Health Rights for Women

Women and Children Image Credit by Alicia Yamen

WE RISE IN GREATNESS

We gather around the world to celebrate the genius of who we are and from all the greatness that we have come.

We celebrate OUR Mothers

We celebrate OUR Mothers

OUR Mothers kisses, OUR Mothers strong holds, OUR Mothers guidance. OUR Mother’s pain; her love and life, her accomplishments and defeats, We celebrate the good and bad, because without the bad
we could not know Good.

We Celebrate

We celebrate OUR Womanly hips, OUR Urban Curves, OUR Political Expressiveness OUR Sassy Humor, OUR Anthem, OUR Thick Thigh Dance, OUR Polished Nails, OUR Fancy Shoes, OUR Loose Lips, OUR Ambition, OUR Goals, OUR Dreams, OUR Thoughts.

For generations and lifetimes, Women have been kept hidden, closed mouthed, buried within themselves. Shamed for being “Who they were, are, and should be” … With our Sexuality, Our Felinity, Femininity, Our Gospel, Our beliefs, Our Strength, Our VOICE… We are GREAT!

GREAT! Gloriously Beautiful, The SIMPLICITY

The simplicity of “Who we are and What we do… is Marvelous -Just sit and Marvel at US…

LOOK AT US! LOOK around, Look at the Beauty.

The dimples, the age spots, the rolls, the wrinkles, the smile, the tender creases at the slants of our eyes, the placement of hands, the cross of ankles, the folds of arms, the straight of back, the bony legs and open nose. Our Breast, Our Wombs;
There is no denying WE are Great

When we “Rise Within… we show forth Without”

When we rise Within We Rise in achievement!

We Rise because of our daughters, our sisters, our mothers. With ever centimeter of a sisters foot, on firm ground, with every placement of strong foot, on shaky ground, Every step forward, We – WE WOMEN-Rise in Greatness”

In the genus of Who we are, In the twinkle of our daughters eye, In the glow of our Mother’s cheek, the sweetness of our grandmothers touch. In the laughter of our girl talk, In the flight of our dance, the hue of our love, the wake of our dreams…

We rise in Greatness.

So rise you Architect! Rise you Doctor! Rise You Teacher, Rise You Prophet, Rise You Singer! Rise you Dancer! Rise you Physicist! (Chemist) You Horticulturalist, You Politician, You Midwives, You Healers and Fix-it All’ers..

Women Rise in the greatest accomplishment of the world: A MOTHER

“Happy Mother’s Day” to my favorite Mothers and especially to my MOMMY.

 

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A Call to ACT

"One Man"

my thoughts..It seems almost shameful to write poetry..to sing happy songs, to drink coffee, to paint, to eat, to sleep.

I feel obligated to scream.to fight… to protest.

Too much. Too much devastation.  I’ve heard great leaders that say turn off the negativity.  De stress, remove negative propaganda, from TV and radio.  No disturbing images.

But, how can you cut off something that you know is there?  When people are dying and being sacrificed? When women like myself are being tortured and girls..like my daughters are being raped and mutilated? NOW!  Not yesterday..or in the future.  NOW

I cant remove or make invisible what I know exists. Also,  how or why should I?  Is it not selfish to think that I should remain pure of the horror that’s present?  Just so I can walk happily, just so I can shop carelessly?

NO>  I can”t.  I can”t remain silent, and cut off from the world.  It affects me terribly.  I meditate and pray in the face of the beat and broken, killed, and martyred.

I admit that (Yes) I am blessed. I admit that, I should not force myself to suffer because of the suffering of others.

But, to laugh obliviously in the faces of pain..is unthinkable.

What will be done?

Social action is a must.  A walk, a flyer, a protest, a trip, a speech, a statement, a march.  Now..

 

Think About IT..

When does social action become moral obligation?

How long must an injustice take place before we consider it as an injustice?  When are we morally obligated to stand up!

When do we fight in protest with pointed fingers!

When do we become human beings?

When do we force evil accountable for all of it’s hushed and silent crimes?

Are all the atrocities of the world reflective of us? as a society?

Can we, should we..take credit for all wrong?

If you know that a sin is being committed do you/will you stop it?

Can degradation be genocide?

Who will suffer for the rape of women and children?

When does the sins of many become the sins of the silent?

If I watch a stone being cast, am I not as guilty as the one who threw the stone?

Which among us are the fighters? Who among us are the agitators? Who among us are the victims? Who among us are the firing squad?

If there is no justice..will there ever be  peace?

 

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Blue Butterflies

blue-butterfly-tree

Throughout the ages..there have been Women.

Women who built and bore nations..

Women who fed and constructed.

Women that dug in the earth…

Basket Weaving Women

Powerful Juju having women…Truth Teaching Women…Geechi Speaking women

Herb Healing Women

Seed Planting Women

Heart Healers and Heart Breaking Women..

 

There were these Women..

These Thick in the Calf Women..that trotted long roads..

Ancient Gray haired Women that held stories close

Swollen knuckled Women that plucked the husk from corn.

Ruby-Black Desert Women that hurdled Cattle..

Birth giving women..

Tear dropping women

God Fearing women

 

There were these Women….

Yellow Women

Red-Boned Women

Community Women…Tribal Women…Single Women

Sexual women..

Big Butt Women..Wide hip Women…Part like the sea, every-time the Moon shines Women

Back-breaking Women..Tree Hugging Women

These Warrior Women..Samurai Women

Gift Giving and Life Saving Women

 

There are these Women….These Troubled women..These Cursed Women

These Tied to Stakes and burned on Crosses Women.

There are these Beat Women..These Bruised and Scorned Women

Mutilated Women…These Hurt and Battered Women

 

There are

Indian Women

Ko-nichi-wa women

Blue-Black women

Mesopotamian Women…Amazonian Women..African Women

Rulers and Servers

Concubines and Spies

The Gossipers and the Secret Dwellers..Them Women

The work 2 and 3 jobs Women

The Mad and Tired Women

Flying Women

Floating Women

Straight Haired Women

Nappy Headed Women

In the Mountains …In Wet Soil

No Breasted..and Bare Tittied Swinging Women

 

These Women….

Regal

Tall

Short..

Strong

Meek

 

These Women..

Like Pink Diamonds and Black Pearls..

Like Lotus Flowers and Blue Butterflies

Rare, Valuable, Treasured, Sacred, Admired, Original, and Eternal WOMEN.

 

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