As long as I can remember, I have questioned, played with, and found humor in the attributes that I have inherited from my parents. The all too familiar way that I speak and gesture (just like my Mother). The way I reason and play (like my Father). My walk, and the way I tilt my head, all resemble my heritage. But, what about the not so physical stuff? What about the hidden things that may have been genetically inbred? Or those “bad” things, those dysfunctional things; that no one else knew except for my immediate family. What about the secrets that were no longer secret when I became an adult?
When I became an adult, my bad relationships modeled my mother’s “Bad relationships”. My past boyfriends possessed some of the exact abusive habits of my father. I can lie like my Father and have unfortunate results if exposed to alcohol; just like my Mother. As a child I saw the sins of my parents and they became all too comfortable for me over the years. Some of those sins I soon possessed, some of them I chose not too. But, when I became a parent it became necessary for me to be mindful of MY sins.
Regrettably, there were unseen sins that I didn’t realize that I possessed, until I heard them replay from my child’s mouth. Regrettably, there are sins that I have given to my children, that won’t show until they are adults. My only recourse is to discuss each budding, sinful transformation with complete honestly and humility; as soon as they appear.
It is essential to our children’s progress that we understand that “Our” sins become their sins. All of the wrong that we unconsciously and sometimes consciously expose to our children, they inherit. We think that we hide our faults and mistakes from them but they know. Sometimes their young and fresh minds may not be able to put things into focus but the older they get, the missing pieces will soon mesh. Their incomplete thoughts will begin to develop into more thought-out concepts of deceit. With each new generation; new technology, new teachings, and unfortunately new twists to the “Old” sin are born.
So, what do we do?
First, we stand up and face up. We admit all the wrong doings to ourselves and seek forgiveness if necessary. We look in the mirror and inspect all the hidden corners and the untruths that we have told ourselves and convinced others of. We truthfully repent and deal with what we have done.
Secondly, we openly and honestly speak with our children. We bravely talk with them about our “Sins” and their possible inheritance. We prepare them for the battle of defeating these thoughts and desires to commit.
Lastly, and most importantly, we must create and open path for our children to confess. They must feel comfortable in discussing any wrong doing, or sins that they have committed. It is imperative that we teach them how to accept responsibility and to face any consequences that may come from their sin. As well as, comfort them by reassuring them that they will not be loved any less. I believe that once children become fully conscious of their actions then they will understand that “They” will become accountable for their “OWN” sins.
If you are and alcoholic, you must face facts that it is possible for your child to be an Alcoholic too.
If you are filled with rage and anger, your child may have that rage, as well.
If you are greedy and selfish, your child may be too.
If you are promiscuous, it is very likely that your child might engage in the same unsatisfactory behavior.
If you steal, lie, or cheat it is also plausible that your child may indulge in those untruths.
- DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: Of course, this does not apply to every case. Not, every sin will be inherited. Strong violations against humanity are a separate psychosis’. Animal cruelty, pedophilia, murder etc. I believe that those are just too deep within an individual psyche to inherently pass to their children.
This is for the confused parents who “don’t know” why their children are misbehaving. This is for the wandering parent who can’t grasp their child because they are “too out of control”. None of us are without sin. We have all done something that we may not be proud of. Therefore, we owe it to our children to instruct them dutifully and honestly.
Being perfect sounds wonderful. But, being perfect just doesn’t seem to make sense when everything around you is not so great. Reality is actually more easier to explain.