(Your IT) 20 Questions for the Social Dating Website

Has anybody thought about some of the social networking/dating sites protocol or is it just me? I confess that I have messed around in more than a few social hook-up sites.. Shoot, I’m single and I spend most of my free-time on the computer, so why not?

But, there’s one in particular that is quite amusing to me..and I admit maybe it’s due to my gullibility or naivety or maybe me just wanting the world to be better than what it is it, that initially I thought I was just joining a dating site or a place where I can meet, greet, hang out and possibly find my “soul-mate”. ..Imagine my surprise when I realized that my expectations were as unrealistic as me winning the $300 million lottery and moving to Fiji.

So, first I signed up created a cute simple pic profile then I was free to browse.. immediately I was getting hit with friend request after friend request..”Hell, yeah! This is cool!” but then I clicked on the profiles and saw the prospects…

“Ummm…. I got some questions..”

1. Why are people posing in the bathroom with their camera’s; for their profile pics? ?

2. Why do the guys have their shirts off in the pics?  or raised up (showing their imaginary abs?)

3. Why in the hell are there floating roses on your profile page, and your a guy?  Better yet, Why in the “F” do you have a fake plastic rose in-between your teeth, while laying in bed?

4. Why does your status say “It’s complicated”?  What’s complicated? Is that why your taking pictures of yourself in the bathroom?

5. Why the hell do you keep poking me? If I poke you back then what?

6. “T’Chakka Omega Psi Squid 4 Duck, winked at you”..WTH! and what is “Squid 4 DUCK?  Is this a trade off of side dishes or pet squids or pet ducks?

7.  Oh..yeah why we talking about “Pets”  Why ya’ll buying people and calling them pets?  and Why do you wanna be the “Top Priced Pet?”  and WHY are there PET WARS? What do you get if you win?

8. Why is there only 1 profile pic of you? and Why does it look like a copy of one of them posters at Fu Lee’s Chinese Restaurant? Are you trying to get  a Visa?

9. Why do you keep sending me messages asking if I have yahoo messenger? and telling me to put you on my instant messenger list? For what?!  You see my green light on, so you know I’m talking to you now. So why do we have to just talk on messenger?

10. Why are you sending me cartoon flowers and Teddy Bears?  Ain’t I worth real Teddy Bears and some Real Flowers?

11.  Why you gotta high-top fade on your picture? Well, let me say Polaroid? You don’t have a camera phone? Do you have any friends that will be willing to take any recent pics of you? Where you in an accident?

12. Why you don’t have no full length pics?  Why can I just see you from the neck up? and why you got a Philly cap covering your face but you say you in Dallas?

13. Why does it say that your age is 101? Is that a code or something?

14. Why you keep sending me this lame ass line, “Roses are red , and violets are blue, we go good together like 2 + 2 , i would never cheat ,or beat , id always stay true , so do text me sumtimes and lets see what it do?”  (every damn day at about 3 p.m.) Is it programed or something?

15. Why you all hugged up with someone in your pic, but you say you single?  Is that your cousin?

16. Why you keep sending me a friend request, how many rejections does it take for you to automatically become my friend?

17. Why you and your wife sending me friend requests?  Don’t ya’ll know that if I accept you both, you’ll both know about each other?  What, ya’ll like drama?

18. (You have a new message from Tickle ME)  “ Hello:) Do u like to tickle? i would love for u to make a video of you tickling someone for five min and send it to ******@yahoo.com” Why?!  Is this a fetish or something?  and who am I tickling? Is it anybody? What if it’s my grandmother? and do I get paid?

19.  Blond Girl, from Flat Rock, AL, Why is your profile name “Strictly Dick-ly? and  Why do you keep contacting me about hooking up?  DO you have a ding-y? or do you think I have one? My profile clearly states that I am female.

20.  Girls..women..I would love to call you ladies but (Nope)..Why are you posing in a 2 piece, “itty bitty string bikini“? When you need to be in a one piece with a sarong on? and why is it that you always pose with the messed up thigh showing that got a big burned mark, or some kind of scar or is that a birthmark, or is that a rites-of-passage tribal marking?

Damn..I should’ve known this was gon’ be booty…I never liked the game “tag” as a kid, I thought it was stupid..plus I don’t like the idea of somebody chasing me down and hitting me…I guess that’s the point..hunh?

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I am who I am, simply.

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